Not All Whys Are Equal

Posted by Jacinta Hin on November 15, 2006

I had a very busy, hectic and chaotic week. You could say I barely made it. I just about survived.

A great week by the way.

Looking back, this question came to me: why do we do what we do? What makes us do certain things and avoid other things?

Digging into the whys behind my actions and activities of the past week I found good whys, questionable whys, and whys that need more thought. Apparently not all whys are equal.

What did I do?

I helped a friend which took more time than we envisioned it would. I did not give it any thought. I enjoyed it and just considered it a completely normal thing to do.

I allowed my house to become a mess. I simply did not have the time and energy to clean up. The house, that I share with a husband, was a place we both avoided to spend much time in this week.

I lost control of my schedule. I had to reschedule, cancel and apologize to people and spent a fortune on taxis to make it to my many meetings. I went into automatic pilot and just lived from hour to hour.

Why did I help my friend? Because that is who I choose to be. Somebody who is there for people she cares about, which comes easy to me and feels completely natural. And who I choose to be is who I am. As simple as that.

Why did I allow my house to become a mess? Because senseless pride is telling me I should clean my own house. Weeks ago somebody gave me the name and phone-number of his cleaner. I still haven’t called.

Why did I loose control of my schedule? Because I am still confused between my desire to be flexible and free and my need for discipline. I find myself again and again caught in limbo land, and end up with neither.

Very different whys.

The first why is a good one. I just am, so that is why I do.

The second why is a why for the trash-bin. It serves no purpose, is merely self-sabotaging behavior.

The third why asks for deeper exploration and refocusing. It requires a change in habit and more conscious planning.

As I said, a great week with some valuable lessons as a bonus.

Today I could refresh myself. Tomorrow I will buy a Franklin Covey 2007 organizer and call the cleaner. And than I continue my life as usual. The same person, just slightly shifted.

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