What I Really Want

Posted by Jacinta Hin on June 27, 2007

This morning I wrote down some things I want for myself. Reading it aloud I realized it was not exactly what I wanted, so I changed the words until they felt right.

Actually, it was not just a matter of wording. I went a couple of inches deeper, turned up the volume and got down to what I would really like to happen, stripped of fear and misplaced modesty. To get there I simply checked in with my feelings, which, I have come to learn, are the most reliable guides to get to the core of who I am and what I want.

Tuning in with my feelings does not come easily to me. I tend to feel vulnerable, afraid of getting hurt or looking ridiculous. Negative emotions such as shame, guilt or doubt sometimes show up, while memories of past experiences might also interfere.

But I have become better at it. I have learned I do not necessarily need to share what I want and feel with other people. In the judge-free company of paper, pen and the Universe I can freely explore discrepancies between how I feel and how I want to feel without any limitation and filter mechanisms at work.

It is through this process that I understand myself and know what I really want. If I ignore my feelings I am in danger of going after the wrong things or wanting things for the wrong reasons. I might settle for less or second best. I will not create anything that will significantly expand my experience or bring the changes that make a difference.

Checking in with my feelings remains a constant challenge. Like many of us I am conditioned to think logically, to compare options, and to be realistic.

Yet I am dedicated and I am enjoying the benefits. When I have absolute clarity of thought, things are happening for me the way I want them to happen.

The question is how to check in correctly to bring that clarity.


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2 Comments so far
  1. Kees Hin July 17, 2007 9:20 am

    Dear Jacinta, reading your dancing thoughts I started to dance myself:

    It is like I dance with my thoughts like I did when I was very young. Like you don’t change at all. You only have to or can be faithfull to the awareness when you changed from baby, to child , to adult. Do you dance with me ? Kees.

  2. Wilber Moorhouse December 9, 2010 11:58 pm

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