Love Your Questions

Posted by Jacinta Hin on April 21, 2007

I love questions. I love asking them and getting them. In fact, asking questions is what I do for a living.

For me, the best conversations are full of questions. Questions, when asked with genuine curiosity, are invitations to investigate and verbalize thoughts, and give birth to new thoughts and perspectives. They are also a form of acknowledgement. It is through questions I feel that others see and accept me.

On a deeper level, when we are dealing with our life issues, focus on questions rather than answers can prevent us from getting stuck in a desire for those answers, a desire that is often accompanied by worry and concern. For many of us not knowing is a very uncomfortable place to be.

“Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and dreams, try to love the questions themselves” advises the famous poem by Rainer Maria Rilke.

When we love our questions this way, we make the questions the central focus rather than the answers. Our questions become our guides on a journey for something new. Along the way we will find answers, and answers will find us.

I am nowhere near where I think I could be in my coaching business. Yet, I have no idea where I eventually will be. Although I have a vague notion and lots of huge wild dreams, it is the curiosity about how what I am doing today will bring me to the next challenge that drives me. A benefit of this approach is that I am focused on what I am doing now.

We are very results-conditioned. From an early age on we are expected to know what we want. Those of us with corporate employment experience know that the only way to manage our careers so-called successfully is by showing results, preferable always better ones than we had before. If we are lost in in our lives and careers we get bombarded with “what-do-you-wants” and we stay in situations that are not good for us simply because we don’t know what the “other” is we are able to get.

My clients come to me with their questions. The work we do is all about exploring those questions. It takes courage to admit to those questions. My clients often feel guilty not having the answers. The guilt often has a lot to do with how their past and current environment are urging for “knowing”. Our environment, in other words, is uncomfortable with inhabitants who temporarily “do not know”.

This week, for some reason, was a week full of amazing questions. One client found the answer to her core question, another client learned how to ask them. Socially, I enjoyed the company of people who live with their questions.

And inspired by all of this, personally, I was encouraged to embrace my own again.

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  1. Kees Hin April 26, 2007 10:48 am

    Wat een energiek stuk is dit. Vrolijk en ernstig tegelijk. Mooie balans tussen bellen blazen en je afvragen wat je doel in het leven is. Je wandelt op een weg van asfalt of op blote voeten door zacht warm zand, het maakt niet uit. Je wandelt om het wandelen en je wandelt om eens rustig over de dingen van je leven na te denken, te herinneren wat er allemaal was en door het herinneren maak je het weer levend. Weet je, Lieve Jacinta, hoe mijn film over Pessoa en August Willemsen heet: De vraag op het antwoord. Kees.

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