Distancing

Posted by Jacinta Hin on April 6, 2007

When is the last time you stood still and looked at yourself from a distance?

Regardless of how busy, balanced or bored we are, we all have a tendency to go through our days on automatic pilot. We blindly follow our habits and keep looking at happenings with the same perspective. We do things in a certain way because that is how we always have done it. We stay in situations and behaviour without even realizing we could get out.

We belief we are how we behave. We belief we are the product of our emotions, habits, norms and beliefs.

Yet at our core we are none of the above.

At my core I am for instance somebody who thrives when she is free. From this I created a habit to live without planning, believing that, as a freedom-craving person, I should limit anything that felt like a constraint. As a result I ended up being controlled by other people’s schedules and running around being busy with no sense of priority or where I was going.

Taking distance from my situation and reflecting on my reality made me see I had created a situation that had nothing to do with freedom. I realized I needed a different structure, and one that felt as I was going against my free me: the structure of planning and scheduling.

Nowadays my organizer is my best friend. I don’t go anywhere without it. I start each month by writing down my goals and themes for the month. Then I decide what I want to accomplish each week. I break all of this down in daily to-do-lists. Friday is creativity day and the day I don’t do meetings.

Knowing what my month looks like and where I want to be at the end of it allows me to make decisions on how I want to spend my time. Although still not a time management Master I am a dedicated pupil with high grades. And more importantly, today I can honestly say I feel free.

You are not set in your behaviour and the way to find out is to step back and take a view from a distance. A regular moment of questioning everything that is your reality should be as normal a self-care routine as going to the gym or getting a massage.

In line with my new habit of planning, I plan my self-sessions. They are short but insightful and effective. I always find something about my behaviour and habits I can change.

Tip – The key to successful distancing is to sit down with yourself without judgement. Let the observing you observe with humour, compassion, honesty and without fear. And let the observed you be curious, open-minded, attentive and prepared to change.

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2 Comments so far
  1. Hari April 10, 2007 2:59 am

    I couldn’t have said it better :o)

  2. markinjapan April 11, 2007 3:54 am

    Jacinta,

    Great post!

    Put this on your to-do list:

    http://www.goalfreeliving.com

    Organization and freedom can walk hand in hand …in my humble opinion!

    regards

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