Despair and Doom

Posted by Jacinta Hin on March 18, 2007

Many of us live with a sense of despair that we are stuck with the consequences of choices made in the past. Although we have a desire for change, we belief it is too late, that we missed the boot and need to stick it out. With time passing and age progressing we feel that our opportunities are becoming less and less.

When we think like this we are basically saying that we have a limited supply of options and that with each choice we are emptying the jar. As a consequence we stay in jobs we hate, limit our risks, and any changes we make feel like life sentences.

When I was in my late thirties I believed I had very little time left to get my perfect life and perfect career organized. Well-meaning friends confirmed this notion that I better hurry up as career change and babies were no longer options for women over forty. Since I had neither the perfect life nor the perfect job I felt doom was on the horizon, while at the same time the sheer idea of having to be in the same job and life circumstances for the rest of my life was utterly depressing.

I am still prone to desperate feelings, but nowadays I also belief in something more powerful: that every moment is a moment to start something new, to return to something old, or to let go of something that no longer works. And that with each choice, each step, each action we are creating new options and possibilities.

Last week distress had somewhat of a hold over me. Than on Thursday I launched my very first website and my mood immediately shifted. With each email I sent out and each comment I got I felt my world expanding and that I was entering into a new stage in my coaching business.

A bit of despair now and than is not necessarily a bad thing. It keeps us alert.

But when despair is present in my life I know I need to get into action and do something new or get rid of something old in order to create the space for and move to new possibilities.

Since those dark days in my late thirties I changed careers twice. I made my most important move at age 42.

Each choice I make does not determine the rest of my life, but creates a path to new choices. My life is not passing me by, but constantly changing.

What matters is what I do today.


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2 Comments so far
  1. markinjapan March 27, 2007 4:02 am


    You made me think of that deep John Lennon quote:

    “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”


  2. Rodolfo Gossen January 6, 2011 8:23 pm

    Thank you for the article, I really learned a lot from it. Really quality content on this blog. Always looking forward to new article.

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