From Forgiveness to Acceptance

Posted by Jacinta Hin on June 28, 2010

When we forgive someone for something, we let go of toxic energies that keep us stuck in hurt, resentment and blame.

Provided the intention is genuine and not just an “I’m the better person” ego booster, we’re able to move on and create space for the relationship to take on a new, more positive dynamic.

And when we take it a step further, we can go beyond even the need for forgiveness. This means we are not trapped in the pain or disappointment stemming from someone else’s behavior in the first place.

By accepting a person completely and unconditionally we don’t judge them for what they did or didn’t do, nor expect them to comply with our own value system.

Our own happiness and wellbeing will not be shaken, because we’re able to separate the person from their actions.

We no longer demand them to change or adapt to our needs and love them as much for their attractive traits as for their darker side, and simply allow them to be themselves

It’s been said that forgiveness is often a necessary step towards acceptance. In other words, without forgiveness, we could just be playing lip service to the idea of fully accepting someone. On the outside everything might look fine, while on the inside we’re still hurting and resentful.

All of this applies, of course, not only to other people, but to ourselves as well.

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6 Comments so far
  1. Patricia June 28, 2010 7:30 pm

    My dear Jacintha,

    thank you so much for the very true and beautiful post. I love you for it !!

  2. Vivek Singh June 29, 2010 8:59 am

    its nice article….
    but in a relationship of 2 person,only one agrees with this view,as i do.

    thats the only reason we land up with a broken relationship.

  3. OKUNOLA OLUJIMISAYO OLANREWAJU July 18, 2010 7:51 pm

    This is true about life,thanks for letting me know more about forgiveness.

  4. Maggie August 13, 2010 5:45 pm

    One should first forgive himself/herself of his/her defectiveness then can forgive and accept others.
    The outside everything won’t look very fine or always look fine untill there is an inner peace has achieved.
    I enjoy reading your blogs.
    Thank you Jacinta!

  5. Angela Jeffs September 17, 2010 12:47 am

    Hello Jacinta,
    Just wondering if you have read RADICAL FORGIVENESS by Colin Tipping. A remarkable life-changing take on what forgiveness actually involves and means. Traditional forgiveness says, You did something and I forgive you. Radical forgiveness says (that in the present and the larger scheme of things) nothing happened so there is nothing to forgive.
    Recommended,
    Angela

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