The Art of Asking

Posted by Jacinta Hin on January 24, 2007

Many of us are champion wheel inventors and lousy askers. I became aware of how bad we actually are while reading “The Aladdin Factor” by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of chicken soup for the soul fame. This gem of a book explains about the importance of asking for what we want, how we are conditioned to do just the opposite and the often catastrophic consequences of trying to do it all by ourselves or assuming others will kind of automatically know what we are looking for.

The past few months I have been struggling in my windsurfing allowing fear and self-doubt to rule. That is how I have experienced it. But, as I now realize, I actually was on a mission to reinvent the art of windsurfing all by myself. Being in denial that many great people before me have already perfected windsurfing in all its finesse, I was simply failing to ask for help.

Unconsciously I must have started to look for help through this blog and our surf club BBS by writing about my struggles and fears. My gracious surf colleagues Kome-chan, Yorasu and Mr. P. have been giving me encouragement through their comments, sharing advise and own experiences with me. Their comments have helped me to look at my situation with different eyes. Inspired by the above book I started to see that my fears were just a reflection of my failure to ask for support.

So last Sunday I did the unthinkable – I booked a lesson.

And I learned more in one afternoon than I had in the past three months.

I mastered the basic techniques. I experienced how it feels to go fast. I now know the trick to get the boom connected to the mast. I learned I am not the only one who cannot dismantle my sail from the mast: it simply cannot be done by one person. I regained my joy in the sport.

And perhaps most importantly, I learned that when you ask you will receive.

If you are like me and million others and find it hard to ask for things, pick up a copy of the Aladdin Factor. It is an easy read with lots of inspiring ask-struggle stories and lessons how to become a better asker.

And ask yourself what it is your are not asking. Look into what is stopping you, what beliefs are at play, what it is you are afraid of.

If you like to explore the art of asking more deeply, watch The Secret ( and learn about The Law Of Attraction (numerous books and websites – for the spiritually inclined I recommend “Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires” by Esther and Jerry Hicks).

Asking equals creation. Without asking nothing happens. Ask and you put things in motion. Put things in motion and things start to happen.

As for windsurfing, next Sunday I will practice last week’s lessons and be asking for some more.


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